The Surgery and My Hospital Stay
“As you start to walk on the way,
the way appears.”
—Rumi
April 18, 2022, was the day my world changed forever. My body, opened by the surgeon’s knife, withstood seven hours of surgery. When it was over, it was reconfigured with two titanium valves that kept my heart beating and still do. The surgery was a success, but I did not bargain for the loss that would accompany such an awesome gain. The thought never occurred to me.
I am convinced now that my will to live was mighty. During the surgery my body endured sepsis, my blood pressure crashed and my kidneys succumbed to full devastation. One doctor later described the surgery as a “disaster”. Another pointed to a “perfect storm” leading to permanent kidney damage.
During my second week in the hospital, I experienced AFib, which necessitated a pacemaker. I write now as though I was awake and conscious during this time. The truth is that I was in and out of reality. I sensed my world deeply through heat, thirst, noise, and light.
My mind was elsewhere. I lived in a timeless place. I lay on my back floating in a glass room. All that existed was the moment, I had no thoughts of the future.
The only thread that tethered me to my former life was Susan, my sister and protector. She watched over me, supervised my medical care, and sat beside my bed. I would live at Mass General for three months until I was stable enough to transfer to Spaulding.
At Spaulding I would work for another three months to regain basic skills I had before this whole thing began. I would relearn skills I would need if I was ever going to be able to return home. Strengthening my body became a full-time job. When I arrived at Spaulding, I was constrained without the ability to even turn over in bed.
After weeks of physical therapy—triumph! I rose out of my wheelchair, grasped the parallel bars, and purposefully took my first step. That step took every ounce of courage, concentration and strength. I had grown accustomed to immobility.
Little by little I challenged myself (and was challenged by the therapists) to expand my repertoire. When I used my wheelchair to roll myself to the sink in my room and wash my own hair I was thrilled (and proud)!
Eventually the day came for my discharge. It was an Autumn day: October 17, 2022. At this point in my recovery, I had advanced enough to comfortably use a walker and wheelchair.
The passage between the hospital entrance and the car was a transition between worlds. I bathed in the sun’s warmth. At that moment it was as if days and months melted away. I was finally out of my stuffy hospital room. I had achieved freedom and reentered the world. There was much more to do, but this was a beginning. Now I could start building my life again.
You have come so very far on this miraculous journey. I wonder how revisiting those early days feels as you reflect. Your descriptions of both the loss & the success are stunning. Thank you.
Thank you for your comments! I am grateful for your company as I move through this passage. It feels good as I look back and measure how far I have come!
What a beautiful photo! I cannot believe it has been almost four years since your surgery! Do you celebrate October 17th? I am grateful that you had such a strong will to live, and that Susan was there for you. You are two very powerful sisters! Love, Jean
I actually mark April 18th every year. It’s the date that everything changed (some for the worse), but it’s also the date that enabled my survival. I don’t think I ever fully appreciated my life in the same way before that. Now I experience every second as precious. Every second is a second I would not have had if it hadn’t been for the surgery.
You write with a lovely poetic voice allowing us to hear what was a challenging (and frightening ) experience through the grace of time.
Having been an observer and cheerleader during that time I am over the moon that you and Susan are sharing your story.
You played a key role is supporting Susan. We are both grateful to you.
It’s not surprising but so moving to hear your story Naomi, beautifully shared in the art of poetry and the beauty of nature.
I am continuously moved by the strength you two sisters have created between you. I have a sister and I know that bond is everlasting.
Bless you both.
I am grateful for that connection everyday.
Hi Naomi
Hi, it’s Marie. Josie mentioned that you have a blog—I checked it out, and it’s lovely. I’m especially glad you quoted Rumi. You’re a special person, and I wish you health.
Best,
M
Thank you for visiting our site. I love Rumi and find that poetry clarifies life and lifts my spirit.
Thank you for sharing your journey.
I appreciate your kind words and I’m happy to have you here as I move forward.
Hi Naomi,
I thought of you often during those 6 months and wondered what it was like for you. I hope that writing about that time, and about all you’ve done since to re-create your life is healing. Much Love
Thank you Sheila. The creative process of writing and reflection fills an impulse I have to integrate and share my experience. It helps me to look back and remind myself that this has been a long and involved process. I’ve made it this far and can keep on going!!
Sending love,
Naomi
What a story, Naomi! You and Susan are extraordinarily powerful women. You are a model and an inspiration for others. Love to you both ♥️
Thank you so much Susan. It seems that Susan and I are strong in quite different ways. We seem to compliment each other. I am grateful to have her on my side!
Lots of love, Naomi
Hi Naomi and Susan,
This is a wonderful initiative. You guys will inspire so many others to get through difficult times and come out as winners.
All the best!
So glad you had a chance to take a look. Sue and I have been fortunate to have caring and knowledgeable people on our side.
Warm regards,
Naomi
I agree that you two are equally strong.
You are truly unbeatable. God bless!
Keep fighting and writing. We need you.
Love you ladies.
Althea
You are one of the angels of our story. Thank you for being a healing presence in our lives. -Naomi